So, here I am several weeks out from original said thought patterns. I am choosing to look at things differently. It takes a lot of work. A LOT of work...WORK! It's not easy. But then, I listen to more messages from Godly men of God who preach the Bible for what it is...GOD'S WORDS. They speak of anger and bitterness. I am thinking "I am not angry with anyone". As the message goes on, I realize I am angry..or was angry and bitter. How can I know that...well, every time I think of this person or situation, my first thought is not a good one. (1st clue) My second thought is usually ....if only they.... (2nd clue). Time to reevaluate the situation. Then the preacher starts talking about forgiveness. How we are to forgive. I think...I have done the forgiving. But THEN, he says...you may have forgiven them, but have you asked them for forgiveness. UGH--Knife straight to my heart. (Did he really just say that?) Yes. "Just like partial obedience is not obedience at all, So is 'partial forgiveness'."(Dr. Stanley) He went on to say that sometimes there are people that you physically cannot confront...whew, thought i was out of the woods-here we go, he is giving me an outlet....but The HOLY SPIRIT will let you know who those people are. (CRAAAP!-now God gets to decide who i ask forgiveness from directly.) No chance I was getting out of this one. I knew someone who I have sinned against. (I feel like adding the adverb BADLY to that statement--but sin is sin.) So I had to make a choice. Do I follow the Spirit's prompting and do what is right or do I ignore it for another 10 years and say "it will go away". I know that once sin is exposed to us, our relationship with God cannot and will not be right until we confess it and get it made right. I HAD to choose the right thing if I love my Lord. I had to swallow my pride and go to this person whom I have not spoken to in years.