So much is going on in our lives right now, I feel like I hardly have time to think-let alone write a blog about it! I feel like I am trying to find myself all over again. Trying to evaluate certain things, put other things into the right perspective and make better decisions for my spiritual walk. December was the last time I posted, but I have MANY things that I woudl just love to sit and write about. I find myself wanting SO BADLY to write about what is going on in my heart, BUT I have done that before and I have gotten remarks from people that just cut me to the core-so I pull away. I am torn. I want to write about it, but putting yourself out there like that can be painful....hmmm.
Currently, I am reading a book called "Grown Up Girlfriends". How eyeopening--sometimes in good ways, sometimes not so much!! I am learning that sometimes who I thought was/is a good friend of mine, truly is not...and some that I have kept at an arms length, really I should reel in. Its difficult. Women NEED connections and friends. At this point in my life, it saddens me that so many ladies in my age bracket still are so stuck in High School mentality when it comes to friends. I will admit that I have been judgemental to some and probably laid my opinions out there a little too prematurely-or in a way that jumped their boundary. If I did this to you, I am sorry. I am working on being a better friend and finding people who are friends--the kind Jesus wants us to be. The hardest part for me right now is that my whole life, my friends-my true to heart friends-came from my church family. At this point in my life that is not so. I have made friends at church, don't get me wrong- i think there are some people that do FRIEND type things for me from there-but when I REALLY truly evaluate where things really are, I can find 3. This is not a BAD thing per se, but it is a little disheartening, considering my thoughts and reality do not match up. My best of friends at the moment-friends that edify me, have fun, cry/laugh with me, let me help them, have common interests, those with whom I can be absolute with, get advice from, and know they are praying for me and are there for me--do not come from church family. I have to get rid of the thinking that "church people" are looking at me and thinking I don't WANT to be their friend or be involved in things--its OK-whatever they think. Because I know and God knows what is going on with me--and that is what matters right now. *So there is a TINY peek into what is happening with me*
the rest of my family: Well, Clayton is doing AWESOME in school. he made Scholar of the Month for February. He writes stories and LOVES writing and reading! He is reading chapter books quickly and comprehending the story. He is reading at level L, and only needs to be at level H to leave 1st grade. i am proud of him! he is also showing signs of great character lately! He is definitely maturing! A few weeks ago some boys at school were making fun of a girl who is on the chubby side. They were telling her she was fat. Clayton told her to tell the teacher. She didn't want to and didn't want Clayton to tell the teacher. So Clayton said ok-and he walked around the track with her when noone else would. He told her "Its ok, I don't think you are fat!" :) I think he made her feel better-she gave him a HUGE valentine! :) Also, I am sure I have mentioned before about Clayton's school being a diamond in the rough. Well lately Clayton has been asking to pray at lunch and different activities. the teacher allows him to and anyone who wants to can pray with him. This past week, he prayed for their field trip adn lunch-there are about 4 other kids that consistantly pray with him. There are 3 that he is burdened for-since they don't want to pray. He is praying FOR them now too! God is GOOD! He also has started baseball. He is VERY athletic and does very well! We can't wait to watch him play! By the way, Clayton has also grown about 3-4 inches since school started this year! He wears a size 2 shoes, and size 8 clothes--where has my baby gone?!
*ok, so i have to pause here and come back--mothering duties call...more on the rest of the family soon!